Many Catholics think of the saints as dour, gloomy and morose. And why not? Most statues, painting and mosaics of the saints make them look like they’ve just smelled a piece of bad cheese.
But most of the saints had a terrific sense of humor, which was informed by their deep faith. Blessed John XXIII, who was pope from 1958 to 1963, was once asked by a journalist, “How many people work in the Vatican?”
He said, “About half of them.”
St. Philip Neri, a 16th-century Italian saint, once walked around Rome with half his beard shaved off as a way of getting people to poke fun at him. And St. Teresa of Ávila, the 16th-century Carmelite, wrote, “I am more afraid of one unhappy sister than a crowd of evil spirits.”
But what can these humorous saints – who were, after all, celibate – teach single Catholics about finding a spouse? First, humor is attractive. That’s a practical application of this virtue. We can tell jokes about ourselves to deflate our egos, which is always a good thing, since we all have a tendency to get puffed up. It’s good for your spiritual life. But it’s also attractive: People who laugh at themselves (in a healthy way, not in a denigrating way) show they have a sense of humility.
The saints’ self-deprecating humor enabled them to attract others around them. (How else would they have started all those religious orders?) From a single person’s point of view, who wants to get married to someone who is conceited or, as we used to say in high school, “stuck up”? Showing that you have a sense of humor about yourself is not only healthy, but attractive. Second, humor is healing. The saints knew that a well-meaning joke can ease tension. Once, when John XXIII was speaking to a large group, the microphone went dead. Rather than castigating those involved he said, “Don’t worry: I didn’t say anything interesting anyway!”
And when a boyfriend or girlfriend is going through a tough time, healthy humor can be a blessing. Laughter aids the physical body by releasing endorphins, chemicals that relax the body and reduce feelings of frustration.
Laughter also reduces the production of the stress hormone cortisol; it even increases blood flow through the circulatory system. So laughter is a real gift to your partner.
Plus it helps them to listen better. Why? Because when they’re relaxed, they are more open. So: do you have something difficult to discuss regarding your relationship? If you have the discussion in the midst of a relationship characterized by humor, it might be heard more easily. Third, humor offers perspective. Who are you more likely to be attracted to? The person who freaks out about every little thing – a flat tire, a spilled glass of wine, a waiter not bringing the check fast enough – or someone who can laugh at the little stuff?
Using humor shows that you have perspective on life: You know what to take seriously and what not to take so seriously. Also, humor gives you perspective: If you can laugh (with yourself or with others) about the crazy things that happen on dates or in relationships, you’ve got a better chance at being a healthier and more relaxed person – which, again, is attractive to others.
So for God’s sakes (and your own), laugh! (Fr. James Martin SJ) Catholic Definitions A-Z AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range. RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. INCENSE: Holy Smoke! JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. JONAH: The original "Jaws" story. JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. Holiday travel has always been rough. PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. USHERS: The only people at Mass who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.